Being a relatively new ‘natural’ NubianSister, I listen to my friends tell me about their awful Salon experiences all of the time. Sometimes you can laugh about it, but often tears will flow too! What is safe to say is that I do not miss the hairdresser at all! In fact, I don’t know how I wasted so many hours of my life in such a confined and demoralising place! Who knows, I may go back one day but that will be with a newly educated and empowered lady who knows her own hair and knows what works for me. As you know, knowledge is power and is certainly improved confidence in all matters of the mane!
Here is an abbreviated list of reasons I do not miss visiting a hairdresser I wonder how many you can tick off reading it?
- MONEY MATTERS
You can spend so much money on your hair- which can amount to several hundreds of pounds per visit. This does not include the money you spend on the hair extensions, relaxers or hair cremes and gels you may need to maintain the style. Everything adds up! Every cut, trim, dye- all burn a large hole in your pocket, all in the aim of looking good! I definitely notice I have more money in my pocket being a natural (hint hint)!
- TIME AFTER TIME
Do you think it always matters whether you turn up on time for your appointment at the Salon so you can get started on your transformation? A lot of times, this matters NOT! You can still be waiting for the next 1-2 hours before being seen- which would amount to the time of taking a flight to Japan to climb Mount Fuji and fly back- with a stopover! It’s like a whole day out when you plan to do your hair at the salon! Can you imagine you work 5 days a week, then on the 6th day it is spent in the salon? Being a Natural- I can use this time to see my friends, go shopping and spend my saved pennies on a Michelin starred meal…you get my drift?
- VIGOROUS WASH CYLCE
I like to say, but not all hairdressers are educated about hair management and basics such as hair washing. Who remembers having their scalp and head pummelled to the point you thought your neck might break and your scalp may rip off as your respective hairdresser tries her best to ‘clean’ your scalp and ‘rid it of the immense dirt’ it may have accumulated since she last saw you! Being vigorous with your scalp can in fact be damaging to the hair follicles and shaft. Nails shouldnt be used to clean your scalp, but the pads of your finger tips, and gentle circular movements often are more than enough to achieve a clean scalp.
- LONG NAILED VILLAIN
This subject really pains me. Deep down to my core. Why do you need to have nail extensions as long as your scarf when you work as a hairdresser for a living? How can you plait or braid my hair comfortably with talons? How can you wash my scalp with claws? Enough said.
- LONDON’S BURNING!
Hands up anyone who has had their scalp burnt? What about anyone who has had their ears or head burnt with a million-degrees celsius tongs or hair straighteners? Well I can testify as if I was at Sunday Church to both! And what do you get for it? An apology?- If you’re lucky! In fact, they are more likely to say that it was your own fault for not predicting where they were going to move their hands and heat with respect to the back of your head! In the meantime it takes 6-8 weeks for the skin to heal whilst you work your makeup or a modified hair style to cover up the injury.
- HAIRDRESSER BREAKS
Why does the hairdresser decide he/she needs to eat in between washing or managing your hair? Why do they sometimes want to eat some hot chicken or strongly aromatic food in front of you whilst you just about finished your breakfast to get there and it is now 6 hours later and you have not even been offered thirst-quenching water! This adds to the time you may finish, and you are then meant to feel ‘sorry’ for them for working flat out without food. Maybe they should consider scheduled breaks, right?
- CHATTERBOX STYLIST
There always has to be one who wants to talk on the phone- whilst she is doing the most important part of your hair! How can he/she concentrate on both? Or they want to talk to everyone else about what they saw on television or what shopping they have to do. If they are not talking to me, then they should not be talking at all! We spend hard-earned cash on getting our hair done to the best level we can afford- we at least expect full commitment to the cause. Hairdressers stop talking on our time please!
- YOUR EXPERT PALMS YOU OFF TO THEIR JUNIOR (WHO YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE)
So you get to the salon and your favourite trusted hairdresser is there. Everyone has their number one stylist, and you possibly may have a second-best favourite who you don’t mind do your hair if you are pushed for time. But what happens when they are extra busy, and your hairdresser decides to get her junior to wash your hair or worse attempt to style it!!! H-E-L-L N-O! And then have the audacity to charge you the same price for your hair. Never again will that happen to me. Never.
- THE 20 MILE ROUND-TRIP
How many times have you been a regular at your salon, then your one and only hairdresser who you sync your holiday and diaries with takes it upon herself to relocate several miles away! I know people move around and change jobs all the time, but it is a problem when it is your trusted hairdresser! Your hairdresser is another extra part to your life! Without them, things become complicated suddenly and then you feel determined to follow them however far they may go. This can be tricky with keeping up with appointments and can often lead to the breakdown of your hair connection. Then the search for a replacement starts- and this has its problems in itself!
- W.T.T (WAY TOO TIGHT)
In the UK, they call it the Essex Facelift! This means you have a hairstyle that is so tight, that it pulls your face into a new shape having you look as if you all of a sudden, have been born to different parents of a different race! Why do some hairdresser do your hair so tight? Cant they see that you are worried that with each smile you do or each word you utter, a hair strand is popping out from the root! What I hate is when you tell the stylist that you want your braids loose before they sew on your weave, they then decide to completely ignore you anyway. Their excuse is that ‘your weave’ wont ‘last’ or ‘look good’ unless your braids underneath are done ‘tight’. This, I definitely do not miss.
- “REMEMBER ANYTHING THE CLIENT ASKS FOR, JUST DO THE OPPOSITE!”
Sometimes it feels as if this is some of the mantra’s learnt by some hairdressers! Even your trusted ones have their off-days. You wait all day to have this style you have cut out of a magazine that you saw a few months ago! Your really looking forward to your new look and have prepared how you will co-ordinate your LBD for that one night out with THAT hairstyle. You talk about it excitedly with your hairdresser and discuss it down to the minutest detail. And at the end, you look NOTHING like the picture. You smile on the outside, because you can see your stylist is admiring her work (as usual), but you know deep down inside you want to scream, but you know this wont achieve anything. Once again, you pay your big bucks and leave poorer, disappointed- oh and, hungry, tired….etc
- THE UNKNOWN CONDITIONER & SHAMPOO
Who knows what diluted substance is being poured miserly unto your hair! Often bottles are filled with a cheaper version of th e 99p soap the hairdresser cheekily bought at the local market. You will never know the difference! But sooner or later, your hair will!
- THE BREAK AND NO-SHOW
This refers to the dragging of your hair from the root to the tip all in one go (as opposed from tip to root gently) with a heavy hand and a fine tooth comb, and then the quick removal of broken hair from the comb directly to the bin like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, after distracting you with a joke or a ‘friendly’ conversation! Not everyone will tell you how much your hair is breaking (or that they were the ones that caused most of the breakage in the first instance!).
- RUSH HOUR 4
Once again, you have waited all day. And then your hairdresser wants to rush you and get you out of the salon? H-E-L-L- N-O! I am paying for your time! You are a service! I want to be treated like a Queen when I’m getting my hair done by you, whom I have chosen to be privileged to touch my hair! Dont you hate it when you ask to get a treatment and that consists of a coin-sized amount of conditioner and 5 minutes under the hair-steamer? Now I have my home hair-steamer and I can spend as much time as I like under it, with genuine hair conditioner all in the pleasure of my own home! Definitely the way forward Nubians!
I could go on, but I won’t. Ladies do you have any experiences similar or others you just want to rant about? Then be sure to leave a comment and let’s get this discussion going!